no subject

I think I really need a long break
not just a weekend
not just a long weekend
it should be 2 weeks, at least
I want to go to a place far away from Canada
to be alone, shopping, eating, day-dreaming, wandering.... whatever....
I am very tired of my work and my life here
I don't want to be someone's shadow
I don't want to be someone's backup
I don't want to do any admin work
I don't want to be a "babysitter"
I am not a person who like to take care of others
Why do I have to do something that are not supposed to be done by me???
OK, if you work less, you are paid less
that's your own business
but you need me to work more
who pays me extra????

I've been busy in job searching recently
want to find a job so that I can practice what I had just learned
but seems that it is not easy
most of the openings are contract or temporary jobs
or they need several years of experience
actually I don't mind a contract or temp job - IF I am not the only person who support the family
I hate money
but it is a thing that I really need
or, my family really needs
money can solve many problems in my family
at least, with "enough" money, many arguments won't be happened

don't know if the species of flies here is different from that in HK
the flies here are not as smart as those in HK
flies in HK fly fast and usually it is very hard to kill them
most of the time, when we are just holding up our hands just to be ready to kill them
they fly away way before we do anything to them
however, here, the flies fly very slow
seems that they eat too much and are too heavy to fly
and the most interesting thing is
when they are in the house for more than one day
they lose their direction
they cannot fly, even stay still and do not move
but they are not dead
they are still alive
just seems that they are lost and don't know what to do

why did I write so many things about the flies here?
so simple, just because I found that I will become one of the flies here that will lose the direction
well, I will try hard not to become a fly